Category: Writers Block
A gentle voice so calm and pure,
You turned my life into something beautiful and so much more,
You taught me how to open my heart, and showed me it is okay in youI could always know I could depend and trust,
You stuck by my side when everyone else left me in the dust,
You are my shield, and with God's love and aid, I can finally proclaim,
I can proudly say I love you and I know in my soul my match is made!
excellent job jess! very well spoken and heart-felt! it made me tear up!
Aww thanks gypsy rose. I wrote it from my heart. I hope everyone is as constructive as you.
Well I'm sure a certain someone will be here talking about some part of his anatomy, but before that happens, I'll see if I can be slightly constructive. Poetry is not my strong suit because it is so personal, but this conveys a clear and sweet message which is relatable to many situations. Structurally I personally like syllabols to have some form of consistancy, so I'd recommend a bit of tweeking ... but that's just personal preference.
I'd agree. The rhythms not on, but it has a nice sweet message
.
From my rectum to your mouth.
Right on schedule. As predictable and juvinile as always. You know Imp, despite what childhood might have taught you, it really isn't a sign of affection or interest to be so ... vulgar. Unless there's some wierd unspoken thing going on in which case I'll butt out ... Still, ... wierd.
Seem good to me. But, I'm no judge of poetry, and I tend to like the more modern stuff.
Might upset the original poster, she's more of a extreme traditionalist, but it's sort of has
that modern asymmetrical flair, to me at least.
Ah, love. Takes on funny expression, doesn't it.
Maybe he'll tell her one day. Smile.
Butt out? Interesting choice of words there. LOL.
Now I see you've found another, and though I wish him better than the rest, my heart still aches to hold you close, to give you my very best.
I have another if anyone wants to see. It's unfinished. It's happier, but I got distracted in the middle of writing it and in my emotional state, I haven't been able to pick it up again. My best writing is never forced.
Jess, I love the poem.
Nice work, Jess.
Not sure what weight is behind my comment as I am no poetry scholar. Your words read nicely with a beautiful message. Thanks for so openly sharing that piece of your heart with everyone - that's commendable on its own, but the work you shared was straightforward and beautiful. Thanks for sharing. Keep up the writing!
Nice work.
--Mockingjay
Well done, Jess. I am a fan of poetry and this one is beautifully written: very short and sweet.... Keep up the good work...
(Amrith)